


Selfish

by LaynaVile (DirtiestGirlInAmerica)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Blood, M/M, cannon compliant through season 3b, cannon diverent after season 3b, depressed peter hale, im bad at tagging sorry, supernatural creature - vetala
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 18:25:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3498362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DirtiestGirlInAmerica/pseuds/LaynaVile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One hundred and five days, it's been one hundred and five days and Peter still can't talk about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Selfish

**Author's Note:**

> Let me apologize right now, I've never written in this fandom, at least nothing that was ever finished or even close to okay to put up, so I'm sorry if they are badly out of character. Also I'm running on about two hours of sleep and I'm sick so I'm sure there are grammatical mistakes as well as some horrible spelling. I don't have a beta, never have so all of this is my mistake. If you find a mistake that particularly bothers you, feel free to tell me, please. I know I switch tenses a lot, and sometimes it's on purpose and others it's not, you'll be able to tell when its unintended, sorry. Hope you enjoy despite that. This is not a happy story, it doesn't not start happy nor does it have a happy ending. Also if you don't like Chris being called Christopher constantly, leave now.

One hundred and five days, it's been one hundred and five days since Christopher died. Peter still can't talk about it. Instead he goes out each night and rips apart small animals, sometimes bigger creatures.

Peter still can't stand the thought of fucking Vetala, so he kills them all. They aren't the same ones that--it doesn't matter who they are or what they've done, they have to die. That's all there is to it. It's simple really, they're bad and Peter's worse so he kills them before they can hurt anyone else.

Peter doesn't look for them each night, but if he happens to stumble upon them, they die pretty quickly. It's said that only a pure silver knife to the heart can kill them, pretty fucking ironic, they killed the silver. Claws ripping out throats and slashing flesh to ribbons is equally effective.

Peter eventually realizes that maybe he does look for them, it's not him that wants to find them, he knows justice has been done but it's his wolf that doesn't understand that. They took his mate and even though the ones responsible are long dead, his wolf won't settle.

Peter shifts without wanting to more often than not, he can't control himself anymore. The moon has nothing to do with it. He's a big boy, he's had control for years, but the wolf wants out. The wolf wants carnage and destruction and how can Peter deny himself that?

During the day Peter writes and that seems so simple and so mundane that Peter sometimes wonders why he does it. Then he remembers that someone has to keep Christopher alive. Allison's gone and so is Victoria, the only other people who ever truly loved Christopher, they can't do this. It has to be Peter.

He writes about Christopher when he was young and how much of a badass he tried to be, he was a badass but more of a geek when Peter first knew him. He liked the research part of being a hunter better than the physical. He writes about how he was Christopher's first kiss and how Gerard caught them sneaking out together one night and beat the shit out of Christopher and how Peter wanted nothing more than to rip Gerard's throat out but even as Christopher was being beaten and cursed at he begged Peter to run, so he did.

Peter writes about the fire and how for a long time after he thought Christopher was responsible and how his wolf didn't understand why they weren't around Christopher anymore and how it was torture. He writes about finding out the truth, that it wasn't Christopher that killed Peter's family, it was his twisted sister Kate. Peter and his wolf were so happy that it wasn't Christopher, he knew it couldn't have been his Christopher that killed innocent people that had never hurt anyone. The wolf still didn't understand why they couldn't go to Christopher, there was Victoria and Allison now and Peter was nothing to Christopher anymore.

Peter writes about why he calls him Christopher and never Chris. He writes about Christopher saving people and trying to protect everyone. He writes about how brave of a man Christopher was and how stupid he was to. How he always ran head first into danger if it meant keeping his family safe.

He writes about Victoria dying and Allison dying and how it wrecked Christopher and how he may have used that to his advantage to comfort Christopher and reclaim his mate. He writes that he doesn't feel guilty in the slightest of how they reconnected, he would do it again if given the opportunity.

Peter writes about how loving and caring Christopher was. He writes about how Christopher kept him grounded. Christopher always calmed Peter down when he wanted to go slash people apart when they upset him.

On days that something particularly difficult to write comes up Peter runs through the woods, killing every rabbit that scampers by him, and doesn't stop until he's calm enough finish writing.

Peter writes all the way to the day before it happened, he can't bring himself to write it. He just can't. He doesn't want to relive it, he wants to forget it. He has to write it though, he has to make sure no one forgets how brave Christopher was for facing a pair of Vetala alone. He has to make sure everyone knows how much he failed Christopher. Maybe it's the masochistic in him that feels the need to punish himself for Christopher's death.

It was just an average Thursday when Christopher told Peter he had suspicions that a pair of Vetala were hiding out in an abandoned warehouse downtown. Christopher was fairly confident the Vetala were responsible for the three missing people, unlike Peter who was sure they'd been taken by Djinn, no less dangerous than Vetala but better at hiding, and that was why they hadn't found them yet.

They argued about it until Christopher got a call from Sheriff Stilinski telling him that they just found a body, completely drained of it's blood and nothing but puncture marks on the neck. Noah called only because he wants to know if Vampires are real and it that's what's kidnapping people, Christopher tells him that if it were a vampire the victim wouldn't just be drained of blood, they would look nearly mummified because vampires don't just drain blood, they drain everything from the body, every last drop of liquid. He also tells him it's something else, he'll let him know once it's taken care of. Noah argues that briefly but Christopher quickly placates the man and reassures him the matter will be handled within the week.

Christopher told Peter it had to be Vetala, Djinn didn't leave punctures, they left a single mark where they drained the victims blood. Peter points out that just because there are multiple wounds does not necessarily mean Vetala, the Djinn could've been sloppy. And Peter knew he was being ridiculous, he knew that it was Vetala without a shadow of doubt now, but he couldn't admit to being wrong. That wasn't something he did, even with Christopher. So Peter got angry and left, he went to run, he needed to calm down and give into the fact they Christopher was right all along, and then go kill the bastards.

When Peter returns to their house that evening Christopher isn't there and Peter doesn't give it a second though, Christopher is a big boy if he wants to go out then he can.

Christopher doesn't return that night or the next morning and Peter starts to worry when Christopher doesn't answer his phone for the sixth time in an hour. Peter knows how Christopher gets sometimes and how he tends to overreact when he's upset. So Peter pushes the worry down and tells himself that Christopher is just upset and in one of his moods, it's not the first time he's ignored Peter's calls after an argument.

Christopher doesn't come home that night either and he still isn't answering his phone. Peter considers tracking Christopher's scent, but he doesn't want to seem like a lost little puppy chasing after Christopher, so he goes to bed and hopes Christopher comes home the next day, he doesn't. Peter caves, he's worried and they still need to find the Vetala and kill them. Chris has been gone too long for Peter to be able to get a good enough scent off of Christopher's clothes or pillow, but he hopes for the best. Peter wishes he was still an Alpha, they have better scenting abilities. Christopher helped him through his want for that sort of power but every now and again, Peter really wishes he hadn't screwed up so bad and lost it all.

Peter catches Christopher's scent, it's weak but it's all he's got. He doesn't bother with taking his car, it will only make it harder to track Christopher, he walks. He quickly realizes the direction he's heading, downtown. He knows there are plenty of hotels downtown, he also knows that's not where Christopher is. He picks up his pace, starting to run. He reaches the warehouse quickly and is hit with a rush of Christopher's scent, and he's momentarily relieved, he found Christopher, he's here. But then the blood and decay hit him and he nearly rips the locked door off of the hinges.

The pair of Vetala are right there, they've got the remaining two kidnap victims tied up, both still breathing shallowly. Peter listens for heartbeats, he hears four and his heart drops into his stomach and his wolf surfaces. He roars and attacks. One goes down with a quick slash across the throat, the other taunts him, and tries to attack, he rips her throat out with his teeth. When their bodies crumble he knows they're dead, and he scents the air for Christopher, he follows the scent to a room in the back of the building. Christopher is tied to a chair, slumped over, blood staining his neck. The scent of decay cripples Peter. He knows Christopher, his Christopher is dead. And he knows it's his fault, if he'd just listened to him instead of acting like a child, Christopher would be alive. Peter let's out a whimper and paws and Christopher, hoping that maybe his nose is broken, that maybe Christopher is fine. But he can smell the death on him, he can still smell Christopher through it, he knows that he can't have died more than twelve hours ago otherwise the overwhelming scent of him would be completely gone and all he would smell is death. Peter can hear that Christopher's heart isn't beating, he wants nothing more than to hear it.

Peter wishes he had brought his car, he would take Christopher to the nemeton, it saved that awful woman that tried kill everyone all those years ago, maybe it could save Christopher, but he couldn't get to it without his car, he couldn't walk through the streets carrying Christopher's body. In the back of his mind he knows Christopher has been dead for to long, that even with the nemetons power, Christopher would still be gone.

Peter doesn't know what to do, he needs to try to save the other two victims, he shakily gets out his phone and calls Noah. He tells them where they are and to send an ambulance but doesn't mention Christopher.

He hears the sirens minutes before the officers and paramedics enter the building.

Peter doesn't want anyone to know, he doesn't want anyone to see Christopher like this. He barricades the door to the room they are in and hopes that no one notices. He unties Christopher and pulls him into his arms, and he cries. The wolf claws at him, it wants out it wants to howl and grieve but Peter pushes it back. This is his time, this is the last time he will be with Christopher, he needs this, to just hold him. Christopher is cold and rigid, and reeks of death but Peter doesn't care, his instincts won't allow him to let go of Christopher. His Christopher.

Peter stays with Christopher in that room all day, and once he's sure everyone is gone he calls the only person he can think of to help him with this, his once upon a time emissary, Deaton.

Deaton comes and helps Peter move Christopher somewhere safe. They have a private funeral service the next morning, Peter let's no one know what happened. He keeps it to himself and Deaton does the same.

Peter runs every night and kills anything that crosses his path. A week after, Noah finally asks Peter where Chris is, says that he wants to thank him, both of them for taking care of the problem and saving those people. And Peter can't do it anymore, he can't keep it in any longer, he breaks down tells Noah everything, then promptly hangs up on him and runs as far and as fast as he can until he eventually ends up at Christopher's grave. He gives into the wolf and howls and whimpers and claws at the ground. That's the first night he goes after other Vetala.

Peter writes about how Christopher always said Peter was the strong one, that despite everything he didn't give up like Christopher had after Allison died. But Peter wasn't strong, he gave into the wolf and became a killer. He didn't kill humans, not yet, it was only a matter of time before he slipped. He only killed other creatures, he even killed another wolf.

Peter writes how much he regrets arguing with Christopher that day, how he wishes he'd have told him how much he loved him before he stormed off. Peter writes how much he wants to kiss him one more time, to make love to him, to listen to his heartbeat late at night. Peter regrets being so selfish.

Christopher would live forever in the pages that Peter had worked so hard to get out.

Peter left all that he had written in an envelope and gave it to Deaton, he told him to read it all, and to not look for him after.

Peter wasn't cliché enough to kill himself, he had to die by a hunters hands, it was only fair.

He left Beacon Hills, found a group of hunters in Arizona that seemed to follow a reasonable code, like Christopher had. Peter watched them for a few days then attacked.

Peter died with multiple silver arrows embedded in his chest and a wolfsbane bullet in his brain.


End file.
